Chapter 2 - Review

Chapter 2 - The Self and Perception

Factors Influencing Communication

In this chapter, we will study how the following factors influence our communication:

Self-Concept – refers to how you perceive yourself: your feelings and thoughts about your strengths and weaknesses, your abilities and limitations.

Self-Awareness - the degree to which you know yourself and know how you appear to others;

One tool commonly used to assess self-awareness is the Johari Window, a metaphoric division of the self into four areas

Self-Esteem – a measure of how valuable you think you are; how good you feel about your perception of yourself. Increasing self-esteem leads to a better personal and professional life.

Self-Disclosure – communication in which you reveal information about yourself, your history, your circumstances to others; moving information from hidden self to the open self

Perception – an active process by which you become aware of objects, events, and people through your senses and the lens of your past experiences and your desires, wants and needs, loves and hatreds. Our perceptions influence our communication choices including who we choose to interact with, where we choose to interact, what we choose to share, how we choose to share, as well as our understanding of what we have created through our interactions with others

The Self in Human Communication

Who you are and how you see yourself influence not only the way you communicate but also how you respond to the communication of others.

·         Self-concept

·         Self-awareness

·         Self-esteem

Self-Concept

The image you of who you are; it’s how you perceive yourself.

Sources of Self Concept:

Other people’s images of you: How do significate others see me? If you want to see how your hair looks, you'll probably look in a mirror. But what if you want to see how friendly or how assertive you are? According to the concept of the looking-glass self you'd look at the image of yourself that others reveal to you through the way they communicate with you. Of course, you would not look to just anyone.

Rather, you would look to those who are most significant in your life, such as your friends, family members, and romantic partners. If these significant persons think highly of you, you will see a positive self-image reflected in their behaviors; if they think little of you, you will see a more negative image.

Social comparison: How do I compare to my peers? Another way you develop self-concept is by comparing yourself with others, most often with your peers. For example, after an exam, you probably want to know how you performed relative to the other students in your class.

This gives you a clearer idea of how effectively you performed. If you play on a baseball team, it's important to know your batting average in comparison to those of your teammates. You gain a different perspective when you see yourself in comparison to your peers.

For good or ill, social media has provided us with the tools (all very easy to use) to compare ourselves to others, perhaps to estimate our individual worth or make us feel superior.

Here are just a half-dozen ways social media enables people to find out how they stand:

Search engine reports: Type in your name on Google, Bing, or Yahoo, for example, and you'll see the number of websites on which your name (and others that are similarly named) appears. Type in a colleague's name and you get a number of websites on which his or her name appears which, you're hoping, is fewer than yours.

Network spread: Your number of friends on Facebook or your contacts on LinkedIn or Plaxo is in some ways a measure of your potential influence. Look at a friend's profile and you have your comparison. Not surprisingly, there are websites that will surf the net to help you contact more social network friends.

Online influence: Network sites such as Klout and Peerlndex provide you with a score (from 0-100) of your online influence. Your Klout score, for example, is a combination of your "true reach"-the number of people you influence, "amplification” the degree to which you influence them, and "network" -the influence of your network. Postrank Analytics, on the other hand, provides you, with a measure of engagement-the degree to which people interact with, pay attention to, read, or comment on what you write.

Twitter activities: The number of times you tweet might be the point of comparison but, more important, is the number of times you are tweeted about or your tweets are repeated (retweets). Twitalyzer will provide you with a three-part score-an impact score, a Klout score, and a Peer Index score-and it will also enable you to search the "twitter elite" for the world as well as for any specific area (which you can search by zip code). Assuming your Twitter score is what you’d like it to be, a single click, will enable you to post this score on your own Twitter page.

Blog presence: Your blog presence is readily available from your "stars" tab where you can see how many people visited your blog since inception or over the past year, month, week, or day. And you'll also see a map of the world indicating where people who are visiting your blog come from.

References to written works: Google Scholar, for example, will enable you to see how many other writers have cited your works (and how many cited the works of the person you're comparing) and the works in which you were cited. And, of course, Amazon and other online book dealers provide rankings of your books along , with a star system based on reviewers' comments.

Cultural teachings: How do I fulfill the teachings of my culture? Your culture instills in you a variety of beliefs, values, and attitudes about such things as success (how you define it and how you should achieve it the relevance of religion, race, or nationality; and the ethical principles you should follow in business and in your personal life. These teachings provide benchmarks against which you can measure yourself. Your ability, for example, to achieve what your culture defines as success contributes to a positive self-concept; your failure to achieve what your culture values contributes to a negative self-concept.

Especially important in self-concept are cultural teachings about gender roles-how a man or woman should act. A popular classification of cultures is in terms of their masculinity and femininity.

Some intercultural theorists note that equivalent terms would be cultures based on "achievement" and "nurturance," but because research is conducted under the terms masculine and feminine and these are the terms you'd use to search electronic databases, we use them here. Masculine cultures socialize people to be assertive, ambitious, and competitive. For example, members of masculine cultures are more likely to confront conflicts directly and to fight out an)' differences; they're more likely to emphasize win-lose conflict strategies. Feminine cultures socialize people to be modest and to value close interpersonal relationships. For example, they are more likely to emphasize compromise and negotiation in resolving conflicts, win-win solutions. When you display the traits prized by your culture-whether they be masculine or feminine-you're likely to be rewarded and complimented, and this feedback contributes to a positive self-concept. Displaying contrary trails is likely to result in criticism, which, in turn, will contribute to a more negative self-concept.

Self-interpretations and self-evaluations: How do I evaluate my own feelings and behaviors?  Your self-interpretations (your reconstruction of your behavior ill a given event and your understanding of it) and self-evaluations (the value-good or had-that you place on that behavior) also contribute to your self-concept. For example, let's say you believe that lying is wrong. If you then lie and view what you said as a lie (rather than as, say, a polite way of avoiding an issue), you will probably evaluate this behavior in terms of your internalized beliefs about lying and will react negatively to your own behavior. You may, for example, experience guilt about violating your own beliefs. On the other hand, let's say that you pull someone out of a burning building at great personal risk. You will probably evaluate this behavior

Positively; you'll feel good about your behavior and, as a result, about yourself.

Self-awareness

·         Who am I?

·         Basic to all communication and is achieved when you examine several aspects of yourself as they might appear to others as well as to you

·         Johari window is a tool that measure what we know and don’t know about ourselves

One commonly used tool for this examination is the Johari window, a metaphoric division of the self into four areas:

·         The open self represents all the information, behaviors, attitudes, and feelings about yourself that you, and also others, know. This could include your name, skin color, sex, age, religion, and political beliefs; the size of the open-self varies according to your personality and the people to whom you're relating. For example, you may have a large open self about your romantic life with your friends (you tell them everything) but a very small open self about the same issues with, say, your parents.

·         The blind self represents knowledge about you that others have but you don't. This might include your habit of finishing other people's sentences or your way of rubbing your nose when you become anxious. A large blind self indicates low self-awareness and interferes with accurate communication. To reduce your blind self, you can follow the suggestions offered below, in "Growing in Self-Awareness:'

·         The unknown self represents those parts of yourself that neither you nor others know. This is information buried in your subconscious. You may, for example, learn of your obsession with money, your fear of criticism, or the kind of lover you are through hypnosis, dreams, psychological tests, or psychotherapy.

·         The hidden self represents all the knowledge you have of yourself but keep secret from others. This windowpane includes all your successfully kept secrets, such as your fantasies, embarrassing experiences, and any attitudes or beliefs you want to keep private.

Each person's Johari window will be different, and each individual's window will vary from one time to another and from one communication situation to another. You probably have a very different configuration of window panes depending on whether you're talking face to face with a parent or on Facebook with a close friend.

Growing in Self Awareness

Growing in Self-Awareness because self-awareness is so important in communication, try to increase awareness of your own needs, desires, habits, beliefs, and altitudes. You can do this in various ways.

• Listen to others. Conveniently, others are constantly giving you the very feedback you need to increase self-awareness. In every interaction, people comment on you in some way-on what you do, what you say, how you look. Sometimes these comments are explicit: "Loosen up" or "Don't take things so hard." Often they're "hidden" in the way others look at you or in what they talk about. Pay close attention to this kind of information.

• Increase your open self. Revealing yourself to others, will help increase your self-awareness.

As you talk about yourself, you may see connections that you had previously missed. With feedback from others, you may gain still more insight. Also, by increasing your open self, you increase the chances that others will reveal what they know about you.

• Seek information about yourself. Encourage people to reveal what they know about you.

Use situations that arise every day to gain self- information: "Do you think I came down too hard on the kids today!" "Do you think I was assertive enough when asking for the raise?" But seek this self-awareness in moderation. If you do it too often, your friends may soon perceive you as insecure or self-centered and look for someone else with whom to talk.

• Dialogue with yourself:  No one knows you better than you know yourself. Ask yourself self-awareness questions: What motivates me to act as I do? What are my short- and long-term goals? How do I plan to achieve them? What are my strengths and weaknesses?

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a measure of how valuable you think you are. People with high self-esteem think very highly of themselves, whereas people with low self-esteem view themselves negatively. The basic idea behind self-esteem is that when you feel good about yourself-about who you are and what you're capable of doing-you will perform better. When you get up to give a speech and you visualize yourself as successful and effective, you're more likely to give a good speech. If, on the other hand, you think you're going to forget your speech, mispronounce words, or mix up your presentation aids, you are less likely to be successful. Increasing self-esteem will, therefore, help you to function more effectively in school, in interpersonal relationships, and in careers.

Here are six suggestions for increasing self-esteem:

Attack self-destructive beliefs: Challenge any beliefs you have about yourself that are unproductive or that make it more difficult for you to achieve your goals.

Here are five beliefs that when taken to extremes are unrealistic and ultimately self-destructive.

• Perfect: Do you believe that you have to perform at unrealistically high levels at work, school, and home, and that anything short of perfection is unacceptable?

• Strong: Do you believe that weakness and any of the more vulnerable emotions such as sadness, compassion, or loneliness are wrong?

• Pleasing: Do you believe you need the approval of others and that only if you gain it, will you be a worthy and deserving person?

• Fast and complete: Do you believe you have to do things quickly and take on more responsibilities than anyone person might be expected to handle?

• Doing more: Do you believe you have to do more than anyone can reasonably do?

Do recognize that it's the extreme form of these beliefs that creates problems. Certainly, trying hard and being strong are not unhealthy when they're realistic. It's only when they become absolute-when you try to be everything to everyone-so that they become impossible to achieve and create problems. Replace these self-destructive beliefs with more productive ideas.

Beware of the Imposter Phenomenon:  The impostor phenomenon refers to the tendency to disregard outward signs of success and to consider yourself an "impostor," a fake, a fraud, one who doesn't really deserve to be considered successful. Even though others may believe you are a success, you "know" that they are wrong. One of the dangers of this belief is that it may prevent you from seeking advancement in your profession, believing you won't be up to the task. Becoming aware that such beliefs are not uncommon and that they are not necessarily permanent should help relieve some of these misperceptions. Another useful aid is to develop a relationship with an honest and knowledgeable mentor who will not only teach you the ropes but will let you know that you are successful.

Seek out nourishing people: Psychologist Carl Rogers (1970) drew a distinction between noxious and nourishing people. Noxious people criticize and find fault with just about everything. Nourishing people, on the other hand, are positive and optimistic, and make us feel good about ourselves. To enhance your self-esteem, seek out nourishing people and avoid noxious people. At the same time, seek to become more nourishing yourself so that you can build others' self-esteem while improving your own.

Work on projects that will result in success: Some people want to fail, or so it seems. 'Often they select projects that will result in failure simply because they are impossible to complete. Avoid this trap and choose projects that will result in success. Each success will help build self-esteem and make the next success a little easier, If a project does fail, recognize that this does not mean you're a failure. Everyone fails somewhere along the line. Failure is something that happens to you; it's not something you've created, and it's not something inside you.

Remind yourself of your successes: Some people have a tendency to focus, sometimes too much, on their failures, their missed opportunities, and their social mistakes. To counteract this tendency to dwell on failures, remind yourself (If your successes. Recall these successes both intellectually and emotionally, Realize why they were successes, and relive the emotional experience when you sank the winning basket or helped your friend overcome personal problems.

Secure affirmation: It's frequently recommended that you remind yourself of your successes with affirmations; that you focus on your good deeds; on your positive qualities, strengths, and virtues; and on your productive and meaningful relationships with friends, loved ones, and relatives. The idea behind this advice is that the way you talk to yourself will influence what you think of yourself. You affirm yourself-if you tell yourself that you're a success, that others like you, that you 'will succeed on the next test, and that you will be welcomed when asking for a date-you will soon come to feel more positive about yourself. Self-affirmations include statements like: "I'm a worthy person," "I'm responsible and can be depended upon," and "I'm capable of loving and being loved".

Some researchers argue, however, that such affirmations-although extremely popular in self-help books-may not be very helpful. These critics contend that if you have low self-esteem, you're not going to believe yourself; they propose that the alternative to self-affirmation is affirmation secured from others. You'd obtain this, for example, by becoming more competent in communication and interacting with more positive people. In this way you'd get more positive feedback from others-which, these researchers argue, is more helpful than self-talk in raising self-esteem.

  

Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is a type of communication in which you reveal information about yourself. You can look at self-disclosure as taking information from the hidden self and moving it to the open self. Overt statements about the self (e.g., "I'm getting fat"), slips of the tongue (e.g., using the name of your ex instead of your present lover's name), unconscious nonverbal movements (e.g., self-touching movements or eye avoidance), and public confessions (e.g., "Well, Jerry, it's like this ...), all can be considered forms of self-disclosure. A new and popular variation on self-disclosure is Twitter, when you send a tweet responding to the question, "What are you doing?" you're disclosing something about yourself, most often something you'd readily reveal to others. Usually, however, the term self-disclosure refers to the conscious revealing of information that you normally keep hidden. Self-disclosure is "information" -something previously unknown by the receiver. This information may vary from the relatively commonplace (''I'm really afraid of that French exam") to the extremely significant (''I'm depressed; I feel like committing suicide"). For self-disclosure lo occur, the communication must involve at least two people. You cannot self-disclose to yourself the information must be received and understood by at least one other individual. The test below focuses on the influences of self-disclosure to be discussed next and will help you to personalize the discussion that follows.

The Rewards of Self-Disclosure

There are many rewards related to self-disclosure:

Gain self-knowledge: Self-disclosure helps you gain a new perspective on yourself and a deeper understanding of your own behavior. As you talk about yourself and listen to the reactions of others, you're likely to learn a great deal about yourself.

Improved coping abilities: Self-disclosure may help you deal with a variety of problems. By verbalizing any problem or perceived failure, you'll likely see it more objectively and dispassionately. And, assuming you receive support rather than rejection from the other person, you'll likely be better able to cope, with these and future problems or failures.

Communication enhancement: Self-disclosure often improves communication. You understand the messages of others largely to the extent that you understand the individuals. You can tell what certain nuances mean, whether a person is serious or joking, and whether the person is being sarcastic out of fear or resentment.

More meaningful relationships:  By self-disclosing you tell others that you trust, respect, and care enough about them and your relationship to reveal yourself. This, in turn, is likely to lead the other individual to self-disclose and forms at least the start of a relationship that is honest and open and allows for more complete communication.

Dangers of Self-Disclosure

There are some dangers related to self-disclosure:

Personal risks: The more you reveal about yourself to others, the more areas of your life you expose to possible attack. Especially in the competitive context of work (or even romance), the more that others know about you, the more they'll be able to use against you.

Relationship risks: Even in close and long-lasting relationships, self-disclosure can cause problems. Parents, normally the most supportive people in most individuals' lives, frequently reject children who self-disclose their homosexuality, their plans to marry someone of a different race, or their belief in another faith. Your best friends -your closest intimates-may reject you for similar self-disclosures.

Professional risks: Sometimes self-disclosure may result in professional or material losses. Politicians who disclose that they have been in therapy may lose the support of their own political party and find that voters are unwilling to vote for them. Students who disclose their alcohol or drug behavior in Facebook photos or posts may discover that jobs are more difficult to find or they may even be fired from an existing position.

Remember that self-disclosure, like any other communication, is irreversible. You cannot self-disclose and then take it back. Nor can you erase the inferences listeners make on the basis of your disclosures. Remember, too, to examine the rewards and dangers or self-disclosure in light or cultural rules. As with all cultural rules, following rules about self-disclosure brings approval, and violating them brings disapproval.

Guidelines for Making Self-Disclosures

In addition to weighing the potential rewards and dangers of self-disclosure, consider the following suggestions, which should help you raise the right questions before you make what must be your own decision.

Things to consider:

Consider the motivation for the self-disclosure: Self-disclosure should be motivated by a concern for the relationship, for the others involved, and for yourself. Self-disclosure should serve a useful and productive function for all persons involved. Self-disclosing past indiscretions because you want to clear the air and be honest may be worthwhile; disclosing the same indiscretions to hurt your partner, however, is likely to damage the relationship.

Consider the appropriateness of the self-disclosure: Self-disclosure should be appropriate to the context and to the relationship between you and your listener. Before making any significant self-disclosure, ask whether this is the right time (Do you both have the time to discuss this at the length it requires") and place (Is the place free of distractions? Is it private?). Ask, too, whether this self-disclosure is appropriate to the relationship. Generally, the more intimate the disclosure, the closer the relationship should be. It's probably best to resist making intimate disclosures (especially negative ones) with nonintimates or with casual acquaintances, or in the early stages of a relationship.

Consider the disclosures of the other person: During your disclosures, give the other person a chance to reciprocate with his or her own disclosures. If the other person does not reciprocate, reassess your own self-disclosures. It may be that for this person at this time and in this context, your disclosures are not welcome or appropriate. For example, if you reveal your romantic mistakes to a friend and your friend says nothing or reveals only the most minor details, it may be a cue to stop disclosing. Generally, it's best to disclose gradually and in small increments so you can monitor your listener's responses and retreat if they're not positive enough.

Consider the possible burdens self-disclosure might entail: Carefully weigh the potential problems that you may incur as a result of your disclosure. Can you afford to lose your job if you disclose your prison record? Are you willing to risk relational difficulties if you disclose your infidelities? Are you willing to post on Facebook those images of you partying that a graduate school admissions officer or a prospective employer is likely to see?

Self-Disclosing at Work?

·         Assume it may be repeated

·         Realize it may be used against you

·         May lead to a loss of power

·         Disclosing a disability is your decision

·         You are not obligated to disclose based on a colleague’s decision too

Guidelines for Facilitating and Responding to Others’ Disclosures

When someone discloses to you in person or through a social media site, it's usually a sign of trust and affection. In carrying out this most important receiver function, keep the following guidelines in mind:

Support and reinforce the discloser:  Express support for the person during and after the disclosures. Make your supportiveness clear through your verbal and nonverbal responses: Maintain eye contact, lean toward the speaker, ask relevant questions and echo the speaker's thoughts and feelings. Try to refrain from judgment Concentrate on understanding and empathizing with the discloser.

Be willing to reciprocate (generally): When you make relevant and appropriate disclosures of your own in response to another's disclosures, you're demonstrating your understanding of that person's meanings and at the same time your willingness to communicate on a meaningful level-although you have no obligation to do so.

Keep the disclosures confidential:  If you reveal confidential disclosures negative effects are inevitable. But most important, betraying a confidence is unfair; it debases what could be and should be a meaningful experience. Generally, the netiquette rule to not pass on e-mails to a third party without permission is a useful one for self-disclosure generally.

Don't use the disclosures against the person: Many self-disclosures expose some kind of vulnerability. If you later turn around and use a disclosure against someone, you betray the confidence and trust invested in you. Regardless of how angry you may get, resist the temptation to use the disclosures of others as weapons.

Guidelines for resisting pressure to self-disclose

You may, on occasion, find yourself in a position in which a friend, colleague. or romantic partner pressures you to self-disclose, in such situations, you may wish to weigh the pros and cons of self-disclosure and make your own decision as to whether and what you'll disclose. If your decision is not to disclose and you're still being pressured, then you need to say something. Don't be pushed. Although there may be specific legal or ethical reasons for disclosing certain information under certain circumstances, generally you don't have to disclose if you don't want to. Recognize that you're in control of what you reveal and of when and to whom you reveal it.

Should you decide to not disclose, here are two suggestions:

Be indirect and move to another topic: Avoid the question that asks you to disclose and change the subject. If someone presses you to disclose your past financial problems, move the conversation to financial problems in general or nationally, or change the topic altogether. This is a polite way of saying, "I'm not talking about this,' and may be the preferred choice in certain situations and with certain people. Most often people will get the hint.

Be assertive in your refusal to disclose: If necessary, say very directly, "I’d rather not talk about that now:' or "Now is not the time for this type of discussion."

With an understanding of the self in human communication, we can explore perception-the processes by which you come to understand yourself and others and. of course, the processes by which others come to understand you.

Perception:

Perception is your way of understanding the world; it helps you make sense of what psychologist William James called the "booming buzzing confusion." More technically, perception is the process by which you become aware of objects, events, and especially people through your senses of sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. Your perceptions result both from what exists in the outside world and from your own experiences, desires, needs and wants, loves and hatreds. Perception is important in communication because it influences your communication choices. The messages you send and listen to, the photos and messages you post and view will depend on how you see the world, how you see yourself, how you size up a specific situation, or what you think of the people with whom you interact.

Perception is a continuous series of processes that blend into one another.

For convenience of discussion we can separate these processes into five stages (which may occur in a split second):

(1) You sense or pick up some kind of stimulation.

(2) You organize the stimulation in some way.

(3) You interpret and evaluate what you perceive.

(4) You store your perception in memory.

(5) You retrieve it when needed.

Stages of Perception

Perception is a continuous series of processes that blend into one another. For discussion purposes, we divide these into five stages.

Stimulation (Stage 1)

At the first stage of perception, your sense organs are stimulated-you hear a new CD, you see a friend, you read someone's blog, you smell someone's perfume, you taste an orange, you feel another's sweaty palm. Naturally, you don't perceive everything, rather, you engage in selective perception, which includes selective attention and selective exposure.

• In selective attention you attend to those things that you anticipate will fulfill your needs or will prove enjoyable. For instance, when daydreaming in class, you don't hear what the instructor is saying until he or she calls your name. Your selective attention mechanism focuses your senses on the sound of your name.

• In selective exposure you tend to expose yourself to information that will confirm your existing beliefs, will contribute to your objectives, or will prove satisfying in some way. At the same time, you’d avoid information that would tell you that you made the wrong decision.

You're also more likely to perceive stimuli that are greater in intensity than surrounding stimuli. For example, television commercials normally play at a greater intensity than regular programming to ensure that you take special notice. And you're more likely to perceive stimuli that have novelty value; for example, you're more likely to notice the coworker who dresses in a unique way than the one who dresses like everyone else.

Organization (Stage 2)

At the second stage, you organize the information your senses pick up. One of the major ways you organize information is by rules, one frequently used rule of perception is that of proximity, or physical closeness: Things that are physically dose to each other are perceived as a unit. Thus, using this rule, you would perceive people who are often together, or messages spoken one immediately after the other, as units, as belonging together.

Another rule is similarity: Things that are physically similar (they look alike) are perceived to belong together and to form a unit. This principle of similarity would lead you to see people who dress alike as belonging together. Similarly, you might assume that people who work at the same jobs, who are of the same religion, who live in the same building, or who talk with the same accent belong together.

The rule of contrast is the opposite of similarity: When items (people or messages, for example) are very different from each other, you conclude that they don't belong together; they're too different from each other to be part of the same unit. If you're the only one who shows up at an informal gathering in a tuxedo, you'd be seen as not belonging to the group because you contrast too much with other group members.       

           

Interpretation-Evaluation (Stage 3)

The third stage involves interpretation-evaluation (a combined term because the two processes cannot be separated)- and it is greatly influenced by your experiences, needs, wants, values, beliefs about the way things are or should be, expectations, physical and emotional state, and so on. Your interpretation-evaluation will be influenced by your gender; for example, women have been found to view others more positively than men.

Judgments about members of other cultures are often ethnocentric; because of your stereotypes, you can easily (but inappropriately) apply these to members of other cultures. And so it's easy to infer that when members of other cultures do things that conform to your ways of doing things, they're right, and when they do things that contradict your ways, they're wrong-a classic example of ethnocentric thinking. This tendency can easily contribute to intercultural misunderstandings.

Memory (Stage 4)

Your perceptions and their interpretations-evaluations are put into memory; they're stored so that you may ultimately retrieve them at some later time. For example, you have in memory your stereotype for college athletes and the fact that Ben Williams is a football player. Ben Williams is then stored in memory with "cognitive tags" that tell you that he's strong, ambitious, academically weak, and egocentric. Despite the fact that you've not witnessed Ben's strength or ambitions and have no idea of his academic record or his psychological profile, you still may store your memory of Ben along with the qualities that make up your stereotype for college athletes.

Recall (Stage 5)

At some later date, you may want to recall or access the information you have stored in memory. Let's say you want to retrieve your information about Ben because he's the topic of discussion among you and a few friends. Memory isn't reproductive; you don't simply reproduce what you've heard or seen. Rather, you reconstruct what you've heard or seen into a whole that is meaningful to you. It's this reconstruction that you store in memory. When you want to retrieve this information, you may recall it with a variety of inaccuracies.

Impression Formation

With an understanding of the self and how perception works, we can look at the ways they are intimately connected: first in impression formation and then in impression management-academic terms for what you do every day. Impression formation (sometimes referred to as person perception) refers to the processes you go through in forming an impression of another person. Here, we look at a variety of impression management processes, each of which has pitfalls and potential dangers; and then we focus on some of the ways we can increase accuracy in impression formation.

Impression Formation Processes

How you perceive another person and ultimately come to some kind of evaluation or interpretation of him or her is influenced by a variety of processes. Here, we consider some of the more significant: the self-fulfilling prophecy, primacy-recency, stereotyping, and attribution.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that comes true because you act on it as if it were true. Self-fulfilling prophecies occur in such widely different situations as parent-child relationships, educational settings, and business.

There are four basic steps in the self-fulfilling prophecy:

1. You make a prediction or formulate a belief about a person or a situation. For example, you predict that Pat is friendly in social situations.

2. You act toward that person or situation as if such a prediction or belief were true. For example, you act as if Pat were a friendly person.

3. Because you act as if the belief were true, it becomes true. For example, because of the way you act, Pat becomes comfortable and friendly.

4. You observe your effect on the person or the resulting situation, and what yon see strengthens your beliefs. For example, you observe Pat's friendliness, and this reinforces your belief that Pat is, in fact, friendly.

The self-fulfilling prophecy also can be seen when you make predictions about yourself and fulfill them, For example, suppose you enter a group situation convinced that the other members will dislike you. Almost invariably you'll be proved right; to you, the other members will appear to dislike you. What you may be doing is acting in a way that encourages the group to respond to you negatively. In this way, you fulfill your prophecies about yourself.

A widely known example of the self-fulfilling prophecy is the Pygmalion effect. In this classic research study, experimenters told teachers that certain pupils were expected to do exceptionally well-that they were late bloomers). And although the experimenters selected the "late bloomers" at random, the students who were labeled "late bloomers" performed at higher levels than their classmates. These students became what their teachers thought they were. The expectations of the teachers may have caused them to pay extra attention to the students, and this may have positively affected the students' performance. The Pygmalion effect has also been studied in such varied contexts as the courtroom, the clinic, the work cubicle, management and leadership practices, athletic coaching, and stepfamilies.

 

Primacy-Recency

Assume for a moment that you're enrolled in a course in which half the classes are extremely dull and half extremely exciting, At the end of the semester, you evaluate the course and the instructor. Would your evaluation be more favorable if the dull classes occurred in the first half of the semester and the exciting classes in the second? Or would it be more favorable if the order were reversed? If what comes first exerts the most influence, you have a primacy effect. If what comes last (or most recently) exerts the most influence, you have a recency effect.

In the classic study on the effects of primacy-recency in perception, college students perceived a person who was described as "intelligent, industrious, impulsive, critical, stubborn, and envious" more positively than a person described as "envious, stubborn, critical, impulsive, industrious, and intelligent". Notice that the descriptions are identical; only the order was changed. Clearly, there's a tendency to use early information to get a general idea about a person and to use later information to make this impression more specific.

For example, if you form a picture of a potential date solely on the basis of an introductory video, you may filter future information about this person through this picture/image/impression. So, if your initial impression was that the individual was supportive, friendly, and warm, you may interpret future behaviors of this person as confirming your initial assessment, Often, of course, first impressions are incorrect. For example, if you judged a job applicant as generally nervous and ill-at-ease when he or she may simply be showing normal nervousness in an interview for a much-needed job, you will have misperceived this individual. Similarly, this tendency can lead you to distort subsequent perceptions so as not to upset your original impression. For example, you may fail to see signs of deceit in someone you like because of your early impressions that this person is a good and honest individual.

Stereotyping

One of the most common shortcuts in perception is stereotyping. A stereotype is a fixed impression of a group of people. We all have attitudinal stereotypes-of national, religious, sexual, or racial groups, or perhaps of criminals, prostitutes, teachers, or plumbers. If you have these fixed impressions, you will, on meeting a member of a particular group, often see that person primarily as a member of that group and apply to him or her all the characteristics you assign to the group. If you meet someone who is a prostitute, for example, there are a host of characteristics for prostitutes that you may apply to this one person. To complicate matters further, you will often "see" in this person's behavior the manifestation of characteristics that you would not "see" if you didn't know what the person did for a living. Stereotypes can easily distort accurate perception and prevent you from seeing an individual purely as an individual. Stereotypes can be especially prevalent in online communication; because there are few visual and auditory cues, it's not surprising that people often rely heavily on stereotypes in forming impressions of online partners.

The tendency to group people and to respond to individuals primarily as members of groups can lead you to perceive an individual as possessing those qualities (usually negative) that you believe characterize his or her group (e.g., "All Mexicans are ... "). As a result, you may fail to appreciate the multifaceted nature of all individuals and groups. Stereotyping also can lead you to ignore each person's unique characteristics so that you fail to benefit from the special contributions each individual might bring to an encounter.

 

Attribution of Control

Another way in which you form impressions is through the attribution of control, a process by which you focus on explaining why someone behaved as he or she did. For example, suppose you invite your friend Desmond to dinner at 7 p.m. and he arrives at 9.

Consider how you would respond to each of these reasons:

Reason 1: "I just couldn't tear myself away from the beach, I really wanted to get a great tan."

Reason 2:  “I was driving here when I saw some guys mugging an old couple. I broke it up and took the couple home. They were so frightened that Thad to stay with them until their children arrived. The storm knocked out all the cell towers and electricity, so I had no way of calling to tell you I'd be late."

Reason 3: "I got in a car accident and was taken to the hospital."

Depending on the reason, you would probably attribute very different motives to Desmond's behavior. with reasons I and 2, you'd conclude that Desmond was in control of his behavior; with reason 3, that he was not, further, you would probably respond negatively to reason 1 (Desmond was selfish and inconsiderate) and positively to reason 2 (Desmond was a good Samaritan). Because Desmond was not in control of his behavior in reason 3, you would probably not attribute either positive or negative motivation to it. Instead, you would probably feel sorry that he got into an accident.

In perceiving and especially in evaluating other people's behavior, you frequently ask if they were in control of their behavior. Generally, research shows that if you feel a person was in control of negative behaviors, you'll come to dislike him or her. If you believe the person was not in control of negative behaviors, you'll come to feel sorry for, and not blame, him or her.

In your attribution of controllability-or in attributing motives on the basis of any other reasons (e.g., hearsay or observations of the person's behavior), beware of three potential errors:

Self-serving bias: You commit the self-serving bias when you take credit for the positive and deny responsibility for the negative. For example, you're more likely to attribute your positive outcomes (say, you get an A on an exam) to internal and controllable factors-to your personality, intelligence, or hard work. And you're more likely to attribute your negative outcomes (say, you get a D) to external and uncontrollable factors-to the exam's being exceptionally difficult or to your roommate's party the night before.

Overattribution: The tendency to single out one or two obvious characteristics of a person and attribute everything that person does to these characteristics is known as overattribution. For example, if a person is blind or was born into great wealth, there's often a tendency to attribute everything that person does to such factors. So you might say, "Alex overeats because he's blind:' or "Lillian is irresponsible because she never has had to work for her money" To prevent overattribution, recognize that most behaviors and personality characteristics result from many factors. You almost always make a mistake when you select one factor and attribute everything to it.

Fundamental attribution error: The fundamental attribution error occurs when you overvalue the contribution of internal factors (e.g., your supervisor's personality) and undervalue the influence of external factors (e.g., the context or situation the person is in). This type of error leads you to conclude that people do what they do because that's how they are, not because of the situation they're in. When Pat is late for an appointment, you're more likely to conclude that Pat is inconsiderate or irresponsible than to attribute the lateness to a possible bus breakdown or traffic accident.

Increasing Accuracy in Impression Formation

Successful communication depends largely on the accuracy of the impressions you form of others. We've already identified the potential barriers that can arise with each of the perceptual processes, for example, the self-serving bias or overattribution. In addition to avoiding these barriers, here are other ways to increase your accuracy in impression formation.

Analyze Impressions:  Subject your perceptions to logical analysis, to critical thinking.

Here are three suggestions:

Recognize your own role in perception: Your emotional and physiological state will influence the meaning you give to your perceptions. A movie may seem hysterically funny when you're in a good mood but just plain stupid when you're in a bad mood. Understand your own biases. For example, do you tend to perceive only the positive in people you like and only the negative in people you don't like?

Avoid early conclusions: On the basis of your observations of behaviors, formulate hypotheses to test against additional information and evidence; avoid drawing conclusions that you then look to confirm. Look for a variety of cues pointing in the same direction. The more cues point to the same conclusion, the more likely your conclusion will be correct. Be especially alert to contradictory cues that seem to refute your initial hypotheses. At the same time, seek validation from others. Do others see things the same way you do? If not, ask yourself if your perceptions may be distorted in some way.

Beware of the just world hypothesis:  Many people believe that the world is just: Good things happen to good people (because they're good) and had things happen to bad people (because they're bad). Even when you mindfully dismiss this assumption, you may use it mindlessly when perceiving and evaluating other people. Consider a particularly vivid example: If a woman is raped in certain cultures (e.g., in Bangladesh or Yemen) she is considered by many in that culture (certainly not all) to have disgraced her family and to be deserving of severe punishment-in some cases, death. And although you may claim that this is unfair (and it surely is), much research shows that even in the United States many people do blame the rape victim, especially if the victim is male.

Check Perceptions: The process of perception checking is another way to reduce uncertainty and to ensure that your initial impressions are more accurate. The goal of perception checking is to further explore the thoughts and feelings of the other person, not to prove that your initial perception is correct With this simple technique, you lessen your chances of misinterpreting another's feelings. At the same time, you give the other person an opportunity to elaborate on his or her thoughts and feelings. Let's take an example: Dolly and Jane have been Facebook friends for several years and have been very supportive of each other. Recently however, Dolly's messages have become more critical, often negative. Jane wonders if she did something wrong that offended Dolly or if something is wrong with Dolly. In using perception checking, Jane would seek to clarify the reasons for Dolly's behavior, rather than simply assume that her initial impression was correct.

In its most basic form, perception checking consists of two parts:

• Description/interpretation: The first step is to describe what you see or hear or read and how you interpret the behavior. The descriptive part of this is that Jane sees that Dolly's messages have been unnecessarily negative. The interpretation part of this is that Jane's initial impressions are that she did something to offend Dolly or that something is wrong with Dolly.

• Clarification: At this second step Jane would seek clarification. Jane would ask Dolly, in one form or another, what's going on. For example, Jane may simply say "What's up? Your posts seem different" or "You didn't seem to like my last ten photos; did I do something wrong?" The objective here is simply to find out what was going on with Dolly. Be careful that your request for clarification does not sound as though you already know the answer.

Another way of checking your perceptions is to use "Galilee and the Ghosts," a technique for seeing how a particular group of people perceives a problem, person, or situation.

It involves two steps:

• Set up a mental "ghost-thinking team," much as corporations and research institutes maintain think-tanks. Select a team of four to eight people. These can be people you admire and know or historical figures such as Galileo or Steve Jobs, fictional figures Wonder Woman or Sherlock Holmes, public figures such as Hillary Clinton or Ralph Nader, or persons from other cultures or of a different sex or affectional orientation.

Pose a question or problem and then listen to how this team of ghosts perceives your problem. Of course, you're really listening to yourself, but you are putting your perspectives aside and attempting to think like these other people. The technique forces you to step outside your normal role and to consider the perceptions of someone totally different from you.

Reduce Uncertainty

In every communication situation, there is some degree of ambiguity; A variety of strategies can help reduce uncertainty about another person.

Observe: Observing another person while he or she is engaged in an active task-preferably interacting with others in an informal social situation-will often reveal a great deal about the person, as people are less apt to monitor their behaviors and more likely to reveal their true selves in informal situations.

Construct situations: You can sometimes manipulate situations so as to observe the person in more specific and revealing contexts. Employment interviews, theatrical auditions, and student teaching are good examples of situations arranged to give you an accurate view of the person in action.

Lurk: When you log on to an Internet group and lurk, reading the exchanges between the other group members before saying anything yourself, you're learning about the people in the group and about the group itself, thus reducing uncertainty. When uncertainty is reduced, you're more likely to make contributions that will be appropriate to the group and less likely to violate the group's norms.

Ask: Learn about a person through asking others. You might inquire of a colleague if a third person finds you interesting and might like to have dinner with you.

Interact: Interacting with the individual will of course give you consider able information. For example, you can ask questions: "Do you enjoy sports?" "What would you do if you got fired?"  You also gain knowledge of another by disclosing information about yourself. These disclosures help to create an environment that encourages disclosures from the person about whom you wish to learn more.

Increase Cultural Sensitivity

Recognizing and being sensitive to cultural differences will help increase your accuracy in perception. For example, Russian or Chinese artists, such as ballet dancers, will often applaud their audience by clapping. Americans seeing this may easily interpret it as egotistical. Similarly, a German man will enter a restaurant before a woman in order to see if the place is respectable enough for the woman to enter. This simple custom can easily be interpreted as rude by people from cultures in which it's considered courteous for the woman to enter first. Cultural sensitivity will help counteract the difficulty many people have in understanding the nonverbal messages of people from other cultures.

For example, it's easier to interpret the facial expressions of members of your own culture than those of another culture. This "in-group advantage" , will assist your perceptional accuracy for members of your own culture but will often hinder your accuracy for members of other cultures.

Within every cultural group there are wide and important differences. As all Americans are not alike, neither are all Indonesians, Greeks, or Mexicans. When you make assumptions that all people of a certain culture are alike, you're thinking in stereotypes. Recognizing differences between another culture and your own, and among members of the same culture, will help you perceive people and situations more accurately.

Impression Management: Goals and Strategies 

Impression management (some writers use the term self-presentation or identity management) refers to the processes you go through to communicate the impression you want other people to have of you,

Impression management is largely the result of the messages communicated. In the same way that you form impressions of others largely on the basis of how they communicate, verbally and nonverbally, they also form impressions of you based on what you say (your verbal messages) and how you act and dress (your nonverbal messages). Communication messages, however, are not the only means for impression formation and management. .For example, you also communicate your self-image and judge others by the people with whom they associate; if you associate with VIPs, then surely you must be a VTP yourself, the conventional wisdom goes. Or you might form an impression of someone on the basis of that person's age or gender or ethnic origin. Or you might rely on what others have said about the person and form impressions that are consistent with these comments. And, of course, they might well do the same in forming impressions of you.

Part of the art and skill of communication is to understand and be able to manage the impressions you give to others. Mastering the art of impression management will enable you to present yourself as you want others to see you: at least to some extent. The strategies you use to achieve this desired impression will depend on your specific goal. The sections that follow focus on seven major communication goals and strategies. Note that although they may help you communicate the impression you want to convey, each of these strategies may also backfire and communicate exactly the opposite of your intended purpose.

Affinity-Seeking Strategies

If you're new at school or on the job and you want to be well-liked; included in the activities of others, and thought of highly, you'd like1yuse affinity­seeking strategies and politeness strategies. Another set of strategies often used to increase likability is immediacy.

Affinity-Seeking Strategies: Using the affinity-seeking strategies outlined here will probably increase your chances of being liked. Such strategies are especially important in initial interactions, and their use by teachers has even been found to increase student motivation.

• Appear active, enthusiastic, and dynamic.

• Follow the cultural rules for polite, cooperative, respectful conversation.

• Communicate interest in the other person and include him or her in your social activities and groupings.

• Present yourself as comfortable and relaxed.

• Stimulate and encourage the other person to talk about him- or herself; reinforce his or her disclosures and contributions. Self-disclose yourself.

• Appear optimistic and positive rather than pessimistic and negative.

• Appear honest, reliable, and interesting.

• Arrange circumstances so that you and tile other person come into frequent contact.

• Communicate warmth, supportiveness, and empathy.

• Demonstrate that you share significant attitudes and values with the other person

Although this research was conducted before the advent of social media, you can easily see how the same strategies could be used in online communication. For example, you can post photos to show that you’re active and enthusiastic; you can follow the rules for polite interaction by giving "likes" and "+1 s" to others, and you can communicate interest in the other person by inviting him or her to hang out, by joining a group, by commenting on a post, or by retweeting. Not surprisingly, plain old flattery also goes a long way toward improving your likability. Flattery can increase your chances for success in a job interview, the tip a customer is likely to leave, and even your credibility.

There is, however, a potential negative effect that can result from affinity-seeking strategies. Using them too often or in ways that might appear insincere may lead people to see you as attempting to ingratiate yourself for your own advantage and not really meaning "to be nice."

Politeness Strategies

 Politeness strategies, another set of strategies people often use to appear likable, may be viewed in terms of negative and positive face.

Both are responsive to two needs that each individual has:

Positive face: the desire to be viewed positively by others, to be thought of favorably.

Negative face: the desire to he autonomous, to have the right to do as you wish.

Politeness in communication, then, refers to behavior that allows others to maintain both positive and negative face; and impoliteness refers to behaviors that attack either positive face (e.g., you criticize someone) or negative face (e.g., you make demands on someone).

To help another person maintain positive face, you speak respectfully to and about that person, you give him or her your full attention, you say "excuse me" when appropriate. In short you treat the person as you would want to be treated. In this way you allow the person to maintain positive face through what is called positive politeness. You attack the person's positive face when you speak disrespectfully about that individual, ignore the person or his or her comments, and fail to use the appropriate expressions of politeness such as thank you and please.

To help another person maintain negative face, you respect the person's right to be autonomous and so you request rather than demand that he or she do something; you say, "Would you mind opening a window" rather than "Open that window, damn it!" You might also give the person an "out" when making a request, allowing the person to reject your request if that is not what he or she wants. So you say, "If this is a bad time, please tell me, but I'm really strapped and could use a loan of $100" rather than "Loan me a $100" or "You have to lend me $100." If you want a recommendation, you might ask, "Would it be possible for you to write me a recommendation for graduate school?" rather than say, "You have to write me a recommendation for graduate school." In this way you enable the person to maintain negative face through what is called negative politeness.

Of course, we do this almost automatically and asking for a favor without any consideration for a person's negative face needs would seem totally insensitive. In most situations, however, this type of attack on negative face often appears in more subtle forms. For example, your mother saying "Are you going to wear that?" attacks negative face by criticizing or challenging your autonomy.  This comment also attacks positive face by questioning your ability to dress properly.

 

As with all the strategies discussed here, politeness, too, may have negative consequences. Overpoliteness, for example, is likely to be seen as phony and be resented. Overpoliteness will also be resented if it's seen as a persuasive strategy.

TO BE BELIEVED: CREDIBILITY STRATEGIES

If you were a politician and wanted people to vote for you, at least part of your strategy would involve attempt~ to establish your credibility, a perception by others of your competence, character, and charisma. For example, to establish your competence, you might mention your great educational background or the courses you took that qualify you as an expert. Or you can post a photo with a Harvard diploma on the wall. To establish that you're of good character, you might mention how fair and honest you are, the causes you support, or your concern for those less fortunate. And to establish your charisma-your take-charge, positive personality-you might demonstrate this quality in your face-to-face interactions as well as in your posts and in your photos, and by being enthusiastic and emphatic, and by focusing on the positive while minimizing the negative. If you stress your competence, character, and charisma too much, however, you risk being seen as someone who lacks the very qualities that you seem too eager to present to others. Generally, people who are truly competent need say little directly about their own competence; their actions and their success will reveal it.

TO EXCUSE FAILURE: SELF-HANDICAPPING STRATEGIES

If you were about to tackle a difficult task and were concerned that you might fail, you might use what are called self-handicapping strategies. In the more extreme form of this strategy, you actually set up barriers or obstacles to make the task impossible. That way, when you fail, you won't be blamed or thought ineffective-after all, the task was impossible. Let's say you aren't prepared for your human communication exam and you believe you're going to fail. Using this self-handicapping strategy, you might stay out late at a party the night before so that when you do poorly on the exam, you can blame it on the party rather than on your intelligence or knowledge. In a less extreme form, you might manufacture excuses for failure and have them ready if you do fail. For example, you might prepare to blame a poorly cooked dinner on your defective stove. On the negative side, using self-handicapping strategies too often may lead people to see you as generally incompetent or foolish. After all, a person who parties the night before an exam for which he or she is already unprepared is clearly demonstrating poor judgment.

TO SECURE HELP: SELF-DEPRECATING STRATEGIES

If you want to be taken care of and protected, or if you simply want someone to come to your aid, you might use self-deprecating strategies. Confessions of incompetence and inability often bring assistance from others. And so you might say, "I just can't fix that drain and it drives me crazy; I just don't know anything about plumbing" with the hope that another person will offer to help. But be careful: Your self-deprecating strategies may convince people that you are, in fact, just as incompetent as you say you are. Or people may see you as someone who doesn't want to do something and so pretends to be incompetent to get others to do it. This strategy is not likely to benefit you in the long run.

TO HIDE FAULTS: SELF-MONITORING STRATEGIES

Much impression management is devoted not merely to presenting a positive image, but to suppressing the negative, to self-monitoring strategies. Here, you carefully monitor (self-censor) what you say or do. You avoid your normal slang to make your colleagues think more highly of you; you avoid chewing gum so you don't look juvenile or unprofessional; you avoid posting the photos from the last party. While you readily disclose favorable parts of your experience, you actively hide the unfavorable parts.

But if you self-monitor too often or too obviously, you risk being seen as someone unwilling to reveal himself or herself, and perhaps not trusting enough of others. In more extreme cases, you may be viewed as dishonest, as hiding your true self or trying to fool other people.

TO BE FOLLOWED: INFLUENCING STRATEGIES

In many instances you'll want to get people to see you as a leader. Here, you can use a variety of influencing strategies. One set of such strategies are those normally grouped under power-your knowledge (information power), your expertise (expert power), your right to lead by virtue of your position as, say, a doctor, judge, or accountant (legitimate power). You might also use leadership strategies that stress your prior experience, broad knowledge, or previous successes.

Influencing strategies can also backfire. If you try to influence someone and fail, you'll be perceived as having less power than before your unsuccessful attempt. And, of course, if you're seen as someone who is influencing others for self-gain, your attempts to influence might be resented or rejected.

TO CONFIRM SELF-IMAGE: IMAGE-CONFIRMING STRATEGIES

You may sometimes use image-confirming strategies to reinforce your positive perceptions about yourself If you see yourself as the life of the party, you'll tell jokes, post photos in which you are in fact the life of the party, and just try to amuse people. This behavior confirms your own self-image and also lets others know that this is who you are and how you want to be seen. At the same time that you reveal aspects of yourself that confirm your desired image, you actively suppress other aspects of yourself that would disconfirm this image. Unfavorable wall postings, for example, are quickly removed. If you use image-confirming strategies too frequently, you risk being seen as too perfect to be genuine. If you try to project an exclusively positive image, it's likely to turn others off­ people want to see their Mends and associates as real with some faults and imperfections. Also recognize that image-confirming strategies invariably involve your focusing on yourself, and with that comes the risk of appearing self-absorbed. A knowledge of these impression management strategies and the ways in which they are effective and ineffective will give you a greater number of choices for achieving such widely diverse goals as being liked, being believed, excusing failure, securing help, hiding faults, being followed, and confirming your self-image.

The Ethics of Impression Management

Impression management strategies may sometimes be used unethically and for less than noble purposes. For example, people may use affinity seeking strategies to get you to like them so that they can then extract favors from you. Politicians frequent portray themselves as credible in order to win votes. The same could be said of the stereotypical used-car salesperson or insurance agent trying to make a sale. Some people use self-handicapping or self-deprecating strategies to get you to see their behavior from a perspective that benefits them rather than you.  Self-monitoring strategies are often deceptive, designed to present a more polished image than what might surface without self-monitoring. And, of course influencing strategies have been used throughout history in deception as well as in truth. Even image-confirming strategies can be used to deceive, as when people exaggerate their positive qualities (or make them up) and hide their negative ones.

Keyterms

Affinity seeking strategies: Behaviors designed to increase interpersonal attractiveness. Use in moderation

Affirmation: The communication of support and approval

Attribution: A process through which we attempt to understand the behaviors of others (as well as our own), particularly the reasons or motivations for these behaviors

Consistency: a perceptual process influences us to maintain balance among our perceptions; process makes us tend to see what we expect to see and to be uncomfortable when our perceptions are contrary to our expectations.

Contrast (principle of): Often-followed rule of perception: messages or people who are very different from each other probably don't belong together, and do not constitute a set or group.

Controllability: One of the factors we consider in judging whether a person is responsible for his or her behavior. If the person was in control, then we judge that he or she was responsible. See also attribution theory.

Credibility: The believability of a speaker; competence, character, and charisma (dynamism) are its major dimensions. Seek to establish credibility by displaying competence, high moral character, and dynamism, or charisma.

Dyadic consciousness: An awareness of the interpersonal relationship in a pairing or between two individuals; distinguished from situations in which two individuals are together but do not perceive themselves as being a unit or twosome.

Dyadic effect: The process by which one person in a dyad, or two-person group, imitates the behavior of the other person. Usually refers to the tendency of one person's self­disclosures to prompt the other also to self-disclose. Pay attention to the dyadic effect; it may indicate the other person's degree of involvement in the conversation.

Fundamental attribution error: The tendency to attribute a person's behavior to the kind of person he or she is (to internal factors such as the person's personality) and not to give sufficient importance to the situation the person is in. Avoid the fundamental attribution error by mindfully focusing on the possible influence of situational forces.

Halo effect: The tendency to generalize an individual's virtue or expertise from one area to another,

Hidden Self:  Information about yourself that you know but that others do not know. The hidden self represents all the knowledge you have of yourself but keep secret from others. This includes all your successfully kept secrets, such as your fantasies, embarrassing experiences, and any attitudes or beliefs you want to keep private.

Image-confirming strategies: Techniques used to communicate or to confirm your self-image, the image you want others to see.

Impression formation: The processes you go through in forming an impression of another person.

Impression management: The processes you go through to create the impression you want the other person to have of you.

Influencing strategies: Strategies designed to influence the attitudes or behaviors of others.

Johari window: A diagram of the four selves (i.e., open, blind, hidden, and unknown) that illustrates the different kinds of information in each self.

Klout score:  Online influence. Network sites such as Klout and Peerlndex provide you with a score

(From 0-100) of your online influence. Your Klout score is a combination of your "true reach"-the number of people you influence, "amplification” -the degree to which you influence them, and "network" -the influence of your network.

Looking-glass self: The self-concept that results from the image of yourself that others reveal to you.

Mindfulness and mindlessness: States of relative awareness. In a mindful state, we are aware of the logic and rationality of our behaviors and the logical connections existing.

Negative face: The need and desire to be autonomous, to have the right to do as one wishes.

Overattribution: The tendency to attribute a great deal of what a person does or believes to one or two obvious characteristics of the person. Avoid Overattribution; rarely is any one factor an accurate explanation of complex human behavior.

Perception: The process of becoming aware of objects and events via the senses.

Increase accuracy' in interpersonal perception by:

(1) Identifying the influence of your physical and emotional state;

(2) Making sure that you're not drawing conclusions from too little information;

(3) Identifying any perceptions that may be the result of mind reading.

See also interpersonal perception.

Perception checking: The process of verifying your understanding of some message or situation or feeling to reduce uncertainty.

Politeness strategies: Strategies that support another's face needs and may be used as a strategy to appear likeable.

Positive face: The need and desire to be viewed positively by others, to be thought of favorably.

Primacy-Recency: A principle of perception stating that we generally use early information to get a general impression of a person and use later information to add specificity to this impression.

Pygmalion effect: Condition in which we make a prediction of success, act as if it were true, and thereby make it come true; a type of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Primacy effect: The condition by which what comes first exerts greater influence than what comes later. Contrast recency effect.

Proximity: As a principle of perception, the tendency to perceive people or events that are physically close as belonging together or representing some kind of a unit. Also, physical closeness; one of the factors influencing interpersonal attraction.

Recency effect: The condition in which what comes last (i.e. happened most recently) exerts greater influence than what comes first. Contrast primacy effect.

Selective attention: The tendency to attend to those things that you want to see or that you expect to see.

Selective exposure: The tendency of listeners to actively seek out information that supports their existing opinions, beliefs, attitudes, and values and to actively avoid information that contradicts them.

Selective perception: The tendency to perceive certain things and not others; includes selective attention and selective exposure.

Self-awareness: The degree to which you know yourself. Increase self-awareness by listening to others, increasing your open self as appropriate, and seeking out information (discreetly) to reduce any blind spots.

Self-concept: An individual's self-evaluation or self-appraisal. Learn who you are: See yourself through the eyes of others; compare yourself to similar (and admired) others; examine the influences of culture; and observe, interpret, and evaluate your own message behaviors.

Self-deprecating strategies: Techniques used to signal your inability to do some task or your incompetence to encourage another to help you out. Avoid these or use in moderation; such strategies can easily backfire and simply make you seem incompetent.

Self-disclosure: The process of revealing something about yourself to another person. Usually refers to information that would normally be kept hidden. In considering self-disclosure, consider the legitimacy of your motives for disclosing, the appropriateness of the disclosure, the listener's responses (is the dyadic effect operating?), and the potential burdens self-disclosures might impose.

Self-esteem: The value you place on yourself your self-evaluation. Usually refers to a positive self-evaluation. Raise your self-esteem: Increase your communication effectiveness, challenge self-destructive beliefs, seek out nourishing people with whom to interact, work on projects that will result in success, and engage in self-affirmation.

Self-fulfilling prophecy: The situation in which you make a prediction or prophecy that comes true because you act on it as if it were true. Take a second look at your perceptions when they correspond very closely to your initial expectations; the self-fulfilling prophecy may be at work.

Self-handicapping strategies: Techniques used to excuse possible failure-for example, setting up barriers or obstacles to make a task impossible so that when you fail, you won't be blamed or thought ineffective.

Self-monitoring: The manipulation of the image presented to others in interpersonal interactions so as to create a favorable impression.

Self-serving bias: A bias in the self-attribution process that leads us to take credit for positive consequences and to deny responsibility for negative outcomes of our behaviors, Become mindful of any self-serving bias-that is, of giving-too much weight to internal factors (when explaining your positives) and too little weight to external factors (when explaining your negatives).

Similarity: As a principle of perception, the tendency to see things that are physically similar as belonging together and/or constituting a unit, As a principle of attraction, your tendency to be attracted to people with qualities similar to your own and to people who are similar to you. Contrast complementarity.

Social comparison: The processes by which you compare aspects of yourself (e.g., your abilities, opinions. and values) with those of others and then assess and evaluate yourself; one of the sources of self-concept.

Stereotype:  In communication, a fixed impression of a group of people through which we then perceive specific individuals; stereotypes are most often negative but may also be positive. Be careful of thinking and talking in stereotypes; recognize that members of all groups are different, and focus on the individual rather than on the individual's membership in one group or another.

Practice Quiz

1. Mindfulness is similar to which of the following concepts?

A) self-awareness

B) unconsciousness

C) the looking-glass self

D) self-consciousness

2. Which of the following is an example of Anders’ hidden self?

A) Anders only discusses his finances with his wife and the family accountant.

B) Anders is unaware of the fact that he smiles when he is very nervous or flustered, though his friends have noticed this habit.

C) Anders enjoys debating politics with his friends and family.

D) Anders has never told anyone that he slept with a teddy bear until he was 16 years old.

3. People with high __________ think very highly of themselves.

A) cultural sensitivity

B) self-esteem

C) expert power

D) self-awareness

4. Which of the following is a good way to increase your self-esteem?

A) Do not dwell much on your past successes.

B) Tell yourself that you must be perfect at all times.

C) Spend time with positive, friendly, optimistic people.

D) Remind yourself that you are a worthy person only if you gain others’ approval.

5. Which of the following is the BEST example of self-disclosure?

A) Tom shyly admits to Tina—for the first time—that he has a crush on her.

B) Adrianna calls Kaitlin and asks, “What’s up?” Kaitlin replies, “Oh, just watching some TV.”

C) Baxter calls his sister to tell her that he just got a promotion at work.

D) Kasim proudly tells his co-workers that he is planning to make a pilgrimage to Mecca later that year.

6. Which of the following statements about self-disclosure is accurate?

A) Self-disclosure can be viewed as taking information from the open self and moving it to the hidden self.

B) Some cultures view disclosing inner feelings as weakness, and doing so can bring disapproval.

C) Self-disclosure always strengthens personal relationships.

D) The more people know about you, the more they will like you.

7. Hal has just disclosed to Miriam that he has a problem with alcohol abuse and intends to seek treatment. Which of the following reactions from Miriam would be the MOST appropriate?

A) As soon as Hal leaves, Miriam e-mails her friends to tell them about Hal’s disclosure.

B) Miriam empathizes with Hal and paraphrases what he is telling her.

C) Miriam tells Hal she has known all along that he has an alcohol abuse problem and says that he should have sought treatment sooner.

D) Miriam tells Hal that she thinks the idea that alcoholism is a disease is ridiculous and tells him he just needs to “be strong.”

8. Abraham and Mike are chatting one day when Mike begins telling Abraham about the first person he had a crush on back in high school. Mike then asks Abraham to share a similar story, but Abraham does not really want to discuss the topic. What should Abraham do?

A) Angrily storm out of the room; that will show Mike that he overstepped his bounds.

B) Share a story, as Mike requested; it is only fair, since Mike self-disclosed.

C) Change the topic to something else. Mike will probably get the hint.

D) Make a up a story to satisfy Mike’s curiosity; Abraham does not need to be truthful in this situation.

9. Which of the following is the BEST description of the term perception?

A) the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses

B) information or skills acquired through experience or education

C) the ability to comprehend something

D) the sending and receiving of verbal and nonverbal messages

10. Which of the following correctly orders the five stages of perception?

A) organization, stimulation, interpretation, recall, memory

B) stimulation, organization, interpretation, memory, recall

C) interpretation, organization, memory, recall, stimulation

D) stimulation, interpretation, organization, recall, memory

11. Misha believes that all the football players at her school are pretty much the same. Which rule of perception is in play here?

A) contrast

B) selective perception

C) selective attention

D) similarity

12. The processes you go through in forming an impression of another person is called __________.

A) impression management

B) impression formation

C) mindfulness

D) selective exposure

13. Zach is read a list of 25 words, then is asked to repeat as many as he can remember. He remembers the first five or six words he heard but none of the others. This is an example of __________ in action.

A) the primacy effect

B) the Pygmalion effect

C) the recency effect

D) confirmation bias

14. When Damon got an A on his math test, he attributed the grade to his excellent study habits. As for the D in biology, Damon attributed that to the poor teaching skills of the professor. In this case, Damon is committing ________.

A) the fundamental attribution error

B) confirmation bias

C) selection bias

D) the self-serving bias

 

15. To make sure your first impressions are correct, you should always use ________ to seek clarity and confirm your impressions.

A) the “just world” hypothesis

B) overattribution

C) perception checking

D) stereotyping

16. The processes you go through to communicate the impression you want other people to have of you is called __________.

A) self-identity

B) impression management

C) lateral communication

D) interpersonal communication

17. Which of the following is an example of an affinity-seeking strategy?

A) Talk about yourself a lot.

B) Emphasize how you are different and unique.

C) Present yourself as comfortable and relaxed.

D) Stay quiet and do not join in until asked.

18. With which of the following statements is the speaker attempting to help another person maintain negative face?

A) “You’re not going to wear THAT, are you?”

B) “You HAVE to help me study for my exam tonight.”

C) “Turn off the television!”

D) “Would you help me carry in these groceries?”

19. Scotty sees himself as a really funny guy, so he posts several jokes and links to funny videos on his Facebook page every day. Scotty is using which of the following impression management strategies?

A) image-confirming strategy

B) self-monitoring strategy

C) influencing strategy

D) self-deprecating strategy

20. When you display the traits prized by your culture, you are likely to be rewarded and complimented; this feedback contributes to a positive self-concept.

A) True

B) False

21. All experts agree that positive self-talk is the most effective way to raise your self-esteem.

A) True

B) False

22. Self-disclosure is irreversible; you cannot self-disclose and then take it back.

A) True

B) False

23. Research shows that if you think a person is in control of negative behaviors, you will come to dislike him or her.

A) True

B) False

24. Using self-handicapping strategies too often may lead people to see you as someone unwilling to reveal yourself.

A) True

B) False

25. Angie keeps close tabs on her Klout score. The most likely reason she does this is to __________.

A) get a “looking glass” image of herself

B) compare herself with others

C) help her measure her communication competence

D) determine her level of referent power

26. Amber has a large blind self. It is therefore likely that Amber also has ________.

A) high mindfulness

B) a very positive self-concept

C) low self-awareness

D) low self-esteem

27. Which of the following is an example of the impostor phenomenon?

A) Belinda likes to go into online chat rooms anonymously and pretend to be different people.

B) Tad has obtained another person’s credit card numbers and is charging purchases under that person’s name.

C) Garrett was elected homecoming king at his school, but he feels he does not really deserve the honor because he thinks of himself as a “phony.”

D) Molly feels she needs others’ approval and will be a worthy and deserving person only if she gains it.

28. One way to describe self-disclosure is to characterize it as __________.

A) telling people about your blind self, whether they want to hear about it or not

B) engaging in a kind of “inner dialogue” with yourself

C) reminding yourself and others of your successes

D) taking information from the hidden self and moving it to the open self

29. Self-disclosure __________.

A) often improves communication with others

B) rarely helps people deal with personal problems

C) can help you understand others’ behavior, but rarely your own

D) is always a good thing to practice

30. Which of the following guidelines for making self-disclosures is accurate?

A) Do not allow the other person to reciprocate after you have disclosed something personal.

B) Consider the possible burdens self-disclosure might entail.

C) Any time is the right time for self-disclosure.

D) Self-disclosure should be motivated primarily to help the other person become better and more ethical.

31. Sue is convinced that global warming is a hoax. Consequently, she avoids books, articles, and websites that claim global warming is a real phenomenon. Instead, she spends much of her time on websites that “prove” global warming is not real. This is an example of __________.

A) the Cinderella effect

B) selective exposure

C) the Pygmalion effect

D) selective attention

32. As Dieter eats the bowl of vegetable soup his mother has prepared for him, he thinks about the pot of soup she made for him last week and compares today’s version to last week’s. In which stage of perception is Dieter engaging?

A) organization

B) stimulation

C) recall

D) selection

33. Although Katy tries out for the Math Olympics at her school, she is sure she will not be selected for the team because “girls aren’t good at math.” Sure enough, she failed to make the team. This appears to be a case of __________.

A) the open self

B) the looking-glass self

C) a self-fulfilling prophecy

D) the impostor phenomenon

34. Gladys has become convinced that all Muslims hate America and are potential terrorists. Gladys is indulging in an extreme case of __________.

A) stereotyping

B) attribution

C) the Pygmalion effect

D) the primacy effect

35. The process by which you focus on explaining why someone behaved as he or she did is called __________.

A) rationalization

B) reaction formation

C) the recency effect

D) attribution

36. When Devore tells Mark that she voted for Barack Obama, Mark thinks, “She only voted for him because she is African-American.” This is an example of __________ on Mark’s part.

A) the self-serving bias

B) overattribution

C) selection bias

D) self-delusion

37. Which of the following is a good way to increase your accuracy in impression formation?

A) Recognize that your own emotional state influences the way you perceive things.

B) Always apply the just world hypothesis to every situation.

C) Remember that the rule of proximity is almost always accurate.

D) Make a prediction about a person or situation before it happens.

38. Why can it be a good idea to lurk in a chat room for a while before making a contribution yourself?

A) It can allow you to manipulate the chat room to influence it to your liking.

B) It gives you a chance to set up a mental “ghost-thinking team.”

C) It can help you learn about the other participants, thus reducing uncertainty about them.

D) It more easily puts the primacy effect into play, helping you remember what you have read.

39. Impression management is largely the result of __________.

A) one’s self-image

B) the messages communicated

C) cultural bias

D) age, gender, or ethnic origin

40. Appearing honest, reliable, and interesting and communicating warmth, supportiveness, and empathy are all examples of __________.

A) perception checking

B) attribution of control

C) affinity-seeking strategies

D) politeness strategies

41. When Darlene’s supervisor, Enrique, came to her desk to discuss a new project, she turned her attention to him completely. In so doing, Darlene __________.

A) is being overpolite

B) is practicing negative politeness

C) helped Enrique maintain negative face

D) helped Enrique maintain positive face

42. Nelson knows that Venus is great in chemistry. So, when he approaches her for help with his chemistry homework, he tells her, “Venus, I just can’t figure this stuff out!” Which strategy is Nelson using here?

A) self-deprecating strategy

B) influencing strategy

C) self-handicapping strategy

D) credibility strategy

43. Marissa wants to be thought of as a strong leader at work. Which of the following will BEST help her convey this impression?

A) influencing strategies

B) self-monitoring strategies

C) self-handicapping strategies

D) credibility strategies

44. Using these strategies too often may cause you to be seen as too perfect to be genuine.

A) self-monitoring strategies

B) self-deprecating strategies

C) image-confirming strategies

D) affinity-seeking strategies

45. Self-concept develops from two sources: the image that others have of you and your evaluation of your own thoughts and beliefs.

A) True

B) False

46. Generally, the netiquette rule not to pass on e-mails to a third party without permission is a useful one for self-disclosure.

A) True

B) False

47. Perception is important in communication because it influences your communication choices.

A) True

B) False

48. Recognizing and being sensitive to cultural differences will help increase your accuracy in perception.

A) True

B) False

49. Flattery has been shown to have little influence on improving your likability.

A) True

B) False

50. Which of the following is an example of a self-interpretation that contributes to your self-concept?

A) “I am hungry.”

B) “I am lazy.”

C) “I am sleepy.”

D) “I am tired.”

51. Which of the following is true about self-concept?

A) Gender roles generally are learned through cultural teachings.

B) Self-evaluations are more important in developing self-concept than our interactions with others.

C) We generally do not compare ourselves with others in developing our self-concepts.

D) All of the above.

52. Which of the following is a way to increase self-awareness?

A) Listen to others.

B) Be willing to talk about yourself to others.

C) Dialogue with yourself.

D) All of the above.

53. Which of the following statement is true of the blind area?

A) Communication is generally improved as the blind area becomes smaller.

B) People should be made to see themselves as we (and others) see them so that the blind area may be made smaller.

C) A large blind area indicates high self-esteem.

D) Communication is hindered by the very existence of the blind areas.

54. Self-esteem is defined as:

A) our view of our self.

B) how aware we are of ourselves and others’ views of us.

C) a measure of how valuable we think we are.

D) how large our open self is.

55. We can seek the services of a hypnotist or psychotherapist to discover our __________ self.

A) open

B) blind

C) hidden

D) unknown

56. Which of the following actions is an example of securing affirmation?

A) taping a note that says “I’m a worthy person” to your bathroom mirror and saying the words out loud every morning

B) seeking out positive people to interact with

C) interacting with positive people you can identify with

D) All of the above.

57. Several students sitting together in a student lounge studying for an exam may best be defined as a study group based on which rule?

A) rule of similarity

B) rule of contrast

C) rule of proximity

D) None of the above.

58. Artie believes Asian people are more intelligent than other people. Artie is engaging in which perceptual process?

A) stereotyping

B) fundamental attribution error

C) self-fulfilling prophecy

D) recency effect

59. Joe always told himself that he was lousy at athletics.  When he tried to play soccer, he was not very adept at it.  This may be a result of the:

A) self-fulfilling prophecy.

B) dyadic effect.

C) primacy-recency effect.

D) fundamental attribution error.

60. The process of trying to understand other’s behaviors is called:

A) attribution.

B) organization by schemata.

C) the primacy effect.

D) selective attention

61. Your ability to achieve what your culture defines as success will contribute to a positive self-concept.

A) True

B) False

62. Self-awareness is basic to all communication.

A) True

B) False

63. No one should hesitate to self-disclose information about himself or herself regardless of the immediate audience.

A) True

B) False

64. One recommended way to resist the pressure to self-disclose is to be indirect and change the topic.

A) True

B) False

65. “Work on projects that will result in success” is one of the ways to improve the self-esteem.

A) True

B) False

66. it’s frequently recommended that you remind yourself of your successes by using affirmations.

A) True

B) False

67. Annie thought the movie was great even though she the beginning was boring. Annie experienced the recency effect.

A) True

B) False

68. One way to increase accuracy in perception is to reduce your uncertainty.

A) True

B) False

69. The self-serving bias is when you take credit for the negative and deny any responsibility for the positive.

A) True

B) False

70. The last stage of the perception process is memory.

A) True

B) False